Please Don't
by MidnightRose24
Summary: Now she knows and all she wants to do is help. If only he'll show up. He needs to know how loved he is. She has to tell him. One-shot. Warning: Self-harm is included in this story.


"_He will do one of two things  
He will admit to everything  
Or he'll say he's just not the same"_

- 'How to Save a Life' by The Fray

Glance at the clock, look back at the stupid math textbook, try and solve a problem or two, fail- once again- and take another sip of soda. Over and over again until he gets here. Notice that no one is really here. Also take note that my ADHD is acting up more than ever.

Finally, the waiter comes back. Order a cheeseburger. Wait for food. Wait for him to get here. Wait for it to be okay again.

Nothing happens. Go back to math homework. The problems are just a jumble of numbers. Close the textbook and put it back in the backpack. You have all weekend to do it. It's only Friday. You have two more days.

Take a sip of Coke. Tap my foot. Another frustrated sigh. _Why can't he just be here already? _The waiter's here with your food. Take a bite and savor the juiciness of it all. The crisp lettuce and tomato, the melted cheese, the warm bun. Finish the burger. He's still nowhere to be seen. Growl lowly. _Where is he?_

Battle inwardly between being annoyed and being worried. _What if…no._

The restaurant door opens. It's him. Chills run through my body as I fight to stay calm. The memories come flooding back.

_I mouthed the words to a Slipknot song as I attempted to find the answers to my history homework. I cluck my tongue and silently curse whoever made this damn worksheet. It doesn't even make sense. _

_I push the textbook off of my lap and stand up to stretch. Nico looks over at me. "You're done already?"_

_I let out a laugh that sounds a bit like a bark. "No way. I just don't get it. I'm taking a break."_

"_Isn't that what we always say before we go play the Wii for hours?" He grins at me._

_I grin back at him and shrug. "So? It sounds a hell of a lot better than sitting here trying to figure out these stupid worksheets."_

_The high pitched noise of a phone ringing reaches the room. "I'll get it." Nico sighs before standing. He seems tense and so on guard- again. I'm starting to wonder if he trusts me anymore- or anyone really. But before I can question him, he walks out the door without another sound. _

_I stay standing and look around his room for a moment. A sixteen year-old living in a house alone- who would have thought? Well, technically, it was Hades', but only Nico stayed here. I'm just about to sit down and attempt one last time at getting my homework done when something catches my eye. Something white is sticking out from under Nico's bed. It's hardly noticeable- just a little piece of it sticking out- but if you looked long enough you would see it. It's by the head of his bed._

_I glance towards the door to see if Nico's coming back yet. He isn't- I can hear him talking on the phone. 'It's none of my business,' I try and tell myself. But I can't help but be curious as to what it is. I walk over to where it is. 'Curiosity killed the cat,' I think before trying to slide whatever it is out from underneath the mattress._

_As soon as I touch it I can tell that it's a rag. I edge it out a little more and see a rust coloured stain. I hold my breath and pull it out all the way, not bothering to be cautious anymore, not bothering to listen to if Nico's done on the phone or not. I hold it in my hand for a second and don't do anything._

"_It's so bloody," I whisper, clamping my free hand over my mouth as soon as I realize that I just spoke the words aloud. I open the rag to find a razor. My breath catches in my throat. I stop thinking and just freeze. _

_There are footsteps. Shit. I can't let him know I was snooping. What will he do?_

_But before I can do so much as to close the rag over the razor, concealing it once again, he's back. "So, do yo-"_

_I don't look up. I can't. I can't look him in the eyes; I can't watch his expression change. And I can't even get up and run because he's blocking the doorway. So I sit there. And wait. _

_I hear his back lightly hit the wall. He doesn't say anything. I think I can hear dogs barking outside. I try and concentrate on it. When he still doesn't say anything I keep my gaze locked on the poster on his wall- Slipknot, one of his favourite bands- and gently set the rag on top of his bed. Silence._

_Then: "Thalia." It's hardly louder than a whisper. I wait for him to scream at me to get out. He doesn't say anything else. I think he's waiting for me to say something. I exhale and slowly stand. I close my eyes and take three deep breaths- what am I going to say? I look him in the eyes. There's nothing there. No emotion._

_Tears spring into my eyes as I realize what I've done. All that time that we've spent learning to trust each other has just been shattered and crushed because of something I've done. But what if I hadn't found this? What would happen? What has happened? _

_I need to leave. I need to think. "I'm so sorry," I tell him quietly before hastily grabbing my stuff. I want to hug him, offer some kind of comfort, but I'm not sure if I can. If I did just shatter Nico's trust for me then I won't be able to just walk up and hug him. What if he's already holding a grudge against me?_

_I walk out of the room and he doesn't say anything, doesn't move. I swiftly move down the stairs and when I reach the bottom, I pause and look back at his room. The door is still open, but I can't see him. I think of calling out, but what if I say the wrong thing? What if I push him over the edge?_

_I turn and walk down the hallways until I reach the door. I grip the handle- this is my last chance. Do I turn around and hope for the best or wait-maybe I don't have time to wait, though. I twist the knob and step out outside walking, waiting until I'm out of view from Nico's house and then run for as long as I can, away from the blood, away from the fear, away from my best friend._

He was just about in front of the booth I was sitting at when everything I had been holding in just seemed to burst out. I jumped up and pulled him into one of the tightest- and most likely, bone crushing- hugs I had ever given anyone.He held me and rested his chin on top of my head while I buried my face into his chest, saying over and over how sorry I was. He squeezed me a little tighter and said, "Thals, chill. It's all right. I'm not mad at you."

I looked up at him, a questioning look on my face. "You're not?" I asked him as we sat down on opposite sides of the table.

"No. Why would I be?"

"Well, in case you missed it, I snooped-"

"Snooped?" Nico smirked.

"-and found…well…something that isn't exactly public," I finished awkwardly.

Nico sighed and his eyes clouded over slightly. "Well, I'm not going to lie, I am wondering how you fou-"

"It was sticking out from underneath your mattress. It caught my eye by chance."

"-and why-"

"I've been wondering about you for a while now." My voice was lower when I said the last part.

His eyebrows furrowed. "Was it obvious to you?"

"That you were cutting yourself? Not really. But you have been dressing like it-"

He let out a harsh laugh. "What does that even mean?"

"Long sleeve shirts were never really part of your wardrobe until recently, but in all honesty, it kind of fit your look so I didn't question it too much. And it isn't really hot this time of year, so it wasn't like I could say you looked weird wearing all black, long sleeve shirts and jackets and jeans in summer or something." I started to fidget again.

"Yeah, but looks don't give it all away," he pointed out. "And nobody besides you seemed to notice."

"Maybe others have and they're just scared- like I was when I ran. And I noticed that you've been pulling back from everyone again li-"I stopped.

"Like?" Nico questioned, waiting for me to go on.

"Like when Bianca died," I blurted out as quickly as I could.

"Oh," he replied flatly.

"Why?" I ask as firmly, but still gently, as I could.

"Why do I do it?" His expression and tone of voice were darker now. "To remind me that I'm still alive and not stuck in the Fields of Punishment," he spat out bitterly.

I looked away. There was a picture of roses on the wall. "But why would you ever think that?"

"Stuck with a curse of feeling and knowing when everybody dies; no mom or sister anymore; not that close to my dad; don't get along with my stepmom; don't even find that much to live for. There's not as much happiness in this world as some like to think." I looked back over to find him staring intently at me. "You're one of the few people that I actually think highly of in this damn world."

I glance sideways again and notice a knife on a nearby table. My stomach churns. I take a deep breath before asking, "Would you ever accept help?"

Now whatever nerves he has show just the slightest. "Like, rehab?"

"Yeah, something similar to that."

He bites his lip. "I- I guess."

I feel like maybe there's something that he isn't telling me. "Nico?" He looks up at me. "Have you…ever planned…" I trail off, not wanting to finish. But he doesn't answer, so I say gently, "Everything's pretty much out in the open now. You might as well tell me the rest of the story."

He exhales. "Planned? Plenty of times." He won't look me in the eye.

"Have you ever tried?" I prayed to whichever god- or goddess- who was listening that he wasn't in _too_ deep.

"Well, the first time wasn't really an attempt. It was after Bianca died and I had just cut myself the wrong way. I'm lucky I had ambrosia still in my bag." _Well, there goes my praying._ "But I have tried once since then."

"When?"

"Last year." I gave him a look that clearly said for him to go on. "I- I was at home and- do you really want to hear this?" he asked hysterically, his discomfort plain in sight.

"Tell me how," I said. "I promise you I'm not going to tell you that you were stupid or wrong, and I'm not going to judge you either. I just need to know. I want to help you," I told him honestly.

He ran his fingers through his hair. "I tried swallowing a bunch of pills. I never went to Italy. Not then. I was in the hospital." I thought of those couple of weeks when I truly thought he had been in Italy seeing some of the places where his mom had been and grown up.

He continued, "A neighbor came over wanting to borrow something and when I didn't answer my friend's dog that I was watching at the time, started barking like crazy and howling and trying to claw the door down. So then my neighbor called animal control, thinking that the dog was really going to harm him, at pretty much the same time my dad figured out that I was dying so I woke up to a bunch of guys standing over me. Kind of a weird thing to see," he rambled.

If I wasn't sure of it then, I was sure of it now: Nico needed someone to help him. Someone other than just me. "Nico, you know that I love you, right?"

"Depends, what type of love we talking about here?" he asked, calming down the slightest now that we were done talking about the details of his suicide attempt for now.

"You're one of my best friends and like even more than that to me." I blushed lightly at the fact that I had just admitted my feelings for Nico, but he just looked at me, his expression kind of sad yet not completely hopeless- and not freaked out by the fact that I feel the way that I do about him. "Please don't give up on life. There are so many people who love you and there's so much you have to live for." A tear ran down my face.

"But I can't stop thinking about how life seems so pointless if we're all going to die anyway," he confessed.

"I'm not going to pretend that I understand the whole life cycle because Olympus knows that I don't, but I do know that if you were meant to be dead right now then you would be. You didn't die way back in the 1900s for a reason. You're here today _for a reason_. Please don't throw everything away." I reached for his hand and he took mine in his, giving it a squeeze.

I sniffed realizing that I really was crying now, and I realized that while Nico wasn't crying he was tearing up. It was a humbling moment, really. Seeing Nico expose his feelings like that is not something he does often. It just showed how tough this was.

"Will you accept help?" I asked him once again.

He nodded. "Yes."

"I'll be here whenever you need me," I assured him.

"Thank you, Thalia," he said quietly.

I stood up to hug him again. He stroked my hair as I tried not to sob. I had been so lucky that he had answered when I called him and asked him to meet me here. Can you imagine if the last thing he would ever remember me as was someone who broke his trust?

"I love you, Thals," he murmured as I wiped my tears away.

I smiled. "I love you too." I leaned in at the same time he did. His kisses were softer than I expected. I pulled away after a minute. There would definitely be more of that when he got back. "Come on," I said and grabbed my stuff, quickly paying the bill.

We walked outside, the waitress eying us as we passed. I can't say I blamed her. We probably looked a little strange crying in a restaurant, but no matter.

"Well, I guess I better go tell my dad about all of this," Nico said.

"It'll be fine." I smiled at him.

"I hope you're right," he half-teased.

"I'm hardly ever wrong," I joked. He chuckled. I hugged Nico for the last time and stepped back. "I'll see you when you get back."

"I'll see you soon." He started to walk towards his car and I to mine.

I turned around and looked back at him one last time. I smiled to myself. He was going to be just fine.

**A/N: I wrote that kind of quickly, so let me know if you find any mistakes. xD I hope you guys liked it. :3**


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